Emotions: The Road to Insanity

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If I were Seven this is exactly what I would think. Emotions cloud judgment, impair our ability to think clearly, and most of all they make us act impulsively. Still, I think there is something Seven doesn’t quite know yet. Emotions give us power.

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Take last week for example. Last week was a crappy week, which led me to experience a major melt down. You know, the kind where you find yourself crying for no particular reason. Everything that could go wrong went wrong, and everything that has any ability to make me feel down came crashing down on me like a hundred pound boulder. That’s right. Just picture a giant rock grinding me to the ground. That’s pretty much how crappy my week was.

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But, hey! I am not telling you this to make you feel bad. In fact, quite the opposite. We all have moments, days, and even weeks when life doesn’t go as expected, and it is usually during these times that we grow the most.

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Last week I learned that tears have power. They can either help you rise above the murkiness of your circumstances, or sink you deeper into a sea of gloom. After all, tears are the deepest expressions of the soul. No wonder they have so much power.

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Other emotions can also give us power. Anakin Skywalker didn’t become Darth Vader merely by outside circumstances. Every feeling of anger, mistrust, and desperation gave him power, pushing him farther and farther into the dark side. Moreover, Darth Vader couldn’t have broken the dark side’s hold to save his son if he hadn’t taken the power of a deeper emotion to do so.

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We can draw power from our emotions to do or become anything. Personally, I like to channel my emotions toward my writing. It can be hard to find the right words to express a certain feeling, but when I do, the result is magical.

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Drawing energy from our emotions takes effort. Real. Honest. Effort. But if we are wiling to exert ourselves, the power we can gather from them can help us achieve any goal.

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Here is a little excerpt from the upcoming installment of Markram Battles. It is still a work in progress, but since Thirteen is talking about the subject of emotions and how different humans are from Markrams, I thought it very applicable.

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Excerpt

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I hesitate knowing what I am about to do, but her pain is now mine, I can’t just ignore it. I don’t want to. I force myself to suffer through it, guiding my ability deeper into her despair. My throat contracts as I try to hold back the tears collecting inside my eyes, and even though my instinct fights against my will, endeavoring to raise the wall and coercing me to stop, I don’t. Instead, I dive deeper, pouring the entirety of my being into her. The darkness inside of her consumes me, piercing every inch of my mind, and I don’t fight it. I enfold it, taking it in as my own and slowly pulling it out.

Thirteen turns around, bewildered. “What are you doing?” I can’t speak. Extracting her sense of pain and leaving every other sense intact, while maintaining control of my own emotions gives me no room for interaction. Thirteen steps closer. “How are you doing it?”

I can feel her sense slipping away, retreating back into her mind, and I let it go, knowing that it would be too difficult to hold as other emotions take over. My voice cracks as I make my confession. “I don’t want you to be in pain.”

“Could you feel it?”

“It is the only way I can extract it.”

“I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Pain is a sense, just like sight, or touch. You know I can extract senses, as much or as little as I want to.”

Thirteen takes another step and whispers, “don’t ever do that again.” I frown confused. “I rather feel pain than nothing at all.”

“How can you say that? Who would purposefully live like that?” I hadn’t meant to sound reproachful, but the words were out before I could stop them.

“Emotions are part of my nature. They shape my character. They give meaning to my actions.” I open my mouth to speak, only to see Thirteen reach out to place her hand on my arm. “My pain is my own burden to carry. My own darkness to overcome.” I don’t agree with her, but I nod nonetheless. “Besides,” she adds. “It isn’t that bad. I just think you aren’t used to feeling anything.”

I grunt at her remark. “I feel plenty, believe me.”

“Do you now?”

“Just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean it isn’t there.”

Thirteen regards me with a curious expression. “I suppose.”

The wind picks up, blowing a strand of Thirteen’s hair across her forehead. I reach out before anyone can notice and tuck it behind her ear. A strange feeling tugs at my stomach as I let my fingers caress her temple. It grasps my lungs, weakening my ability to breathe.

“Come on. I know something we can do that will lift your mood.”